Saturday, October 25, 2008

Tormented Sibling

My sister is 12 and she is having such a hard time at school. I mean not really with her academics but with the "social" part of school. I was talking to her yesterday when we were washing clothes and she said that she does not have any friends. Of course I asked her to explain to me what she mean by not having any friends. THIS is what she told me---->I only have 4 friends but 2 of them said that they talk to me but that doesn't mean they are my friends, *****(I won't mention names) is my friend but she is on a different schedule for breaks than me, and my other friend is handicap and she can't talk and people would tease me and I can't hang with her anymore because thats what everyone thought was keeping her from making friends. This is just like a scene from a movie.--->It took me about 30 minutes to actually process this information before I realized that she is going through what is a social crisis. Not being in my sisters life for so long and her telling me this really hit a spot in me I didn't know I had for her....I cried for about 3 hours straight. I can't seem to understand how people can not like her because she is a sweet heart, funny, caring, and spontaneous. She deserves to have friends to hang out with and to be able to have a laugh with. She doesn't and it breaks my heart. She had told me that she walks alone during her recess break and she eats with those girls that "talk to her but aren't her friends." Can you put yourself in my shoes and just imagine your high spirited sister walking the school alone watching everyone having fun and living their lives? I can't. I don't want to but I don't know how to help her. Well the first thing that came to me was to ask her if she tried making new friends and the first thing that came out of her mouth was that everyone hates her. HATES HER! How can a 12 year old think that everyone hates her especially my sister who would be willing to help you in your time of need without a second thought??? Then I asked her if she had actually tried to go to people and make new friends but she told me-----this is hard for me so excuse me if it's not the best written blog----that they say No....they say NO. They tell her NO. I can't go to school with her and be friends with her or watch her and guide her through school. I don't know how to help her cause I couldn't even help myself when I had the same problem in my senior year of high school. I know how it feels to walk the hallways alone and you feel as if you rather just have your life be taken so you can feel lonely without everyone watching you be. I mean people would stare cause I would be alone and I knew what they were thinking...why doesn't she have friends? Something must be wrong with her, maybe she is a freak. Or maybe she is a loser. I know what those looks and the whispers can do to a person and I just can't let my sister go through it but I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HER! Every time I even imagine her being alone I burst out in tears cause I love her and I want her to be able to have people around her and in her life. I can see the light in her and the absolute brilliance she shows on the weekends when she has family and she can just be herself and be liked and loved. That is the person people in her school are destroying and making her feel like she isn't good enough. I know she is hurting and the talk that we had yesterday was hard for her because she couldn't even look at me when we were conversing. Even if I tell her that she will find friends that she will have a deep connection with and that she deserves to have what everyone else has but it just might be in working progress....but if you were 12 would you understand this? Would you be like"Okay well then I will just wait and be happy for the time being." I don't think so and I know hearing it is not the same thing as seeing it. I want to just take her out of school and put her in home schooling but I'm not her mother and my mom seems to think that she will find friends. I know she will find friends but I also know how hard, emotionally, it is to have to deal with this situation. Maybe it is better if she can be home schooled for a while than maybe when it's time to go to high school than she can try regular school again. I just wish I knew what to do.

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